Coming to terms

June 23, 2009

In my real life (you know, the one that doesn’t even acknowledge Twilight exists, Rob Pattinson is unheard of and the Cullen coven is the figment of Stephenie Meyers fantastic imagination) there is very little opportunity for me to discuss Twilight/Rob. I have a parallel life to the Twilight one and it includes mundane things that have been ignored since I met Edward.

When he and I first met, it was at a girl’s night and he was being portrayed by some guy I couldn’t name. Little did I expect that the Twilight spell would be cast on me and only me. Even the friend who brought the movie over was not much more than vaguely interested when I mentioned I read the books the following week. What is a newbie Twi-hard to do?

I mean, as I may have mentioned, I am no tween. I dare say I’m no longer in my twenties (unless thirty is still the new twenty, right?). So, it’s not like I could just go hang out in Hot Topic trying to meet some fellow fans there (and to be honest, I doubt I would’ve been so bold  as to stand at the Twilight perfume section of the store just waiting for someone else in a Twilight tee-shirt to walk up. Even at the height of my tween awkwardness).

At one point, I did try to commiserate with my 10 year old neice, who is more of a blip on the Twi-dar (she’s read Twilight and seen the movie but couldn’t get into New Moon). In fact, when we were at the pool on Saturday I asked her if she knew who’s birthday it was. When she said, “Who?” I replied, “Edward Mason Cullen” and she rolled her eyes into the back of her head. I thought she was going into a convulsion being ZOMG, really? But no, her eyes came right back down and she kind of laughed at me in that, you are my crazy aunt, right? kind of way.

K, so clearly no support of my Twi-session.

Thankfully, this girls got mad internet skillz (i.e. I typed Twilight into google/imdb.com and hit enter) and thank god there are so many fans out there that are not tweens, which makes a thirtysomething girl feel much less alone in the world. I mean thank god for that or maybe I would be a batsh*t crazy fan who talked to Rob’s voice in my head and called him Edward.

But, wait a second. What if I was BSC? How would that roll?

Me: Are you there Edward? It’s me SaritaPagita. I am having a hard time concentrating on much more than my Twi-session. I mean it’s great fun, but I feel guilty about it. What should I do?

Edward (in Rob’s voice): I think I should leave as I am causing you pain. I can see that I am too dangerous for you. It will be as if I never existed.

Me: WTF? No, Edward, wha? No, you can’t, you won’t…

Edward: There, there.

Sha, right. Nice try. If only it were so easy to break the addiction. I keep trying. I unsubscribe to my fave blogs in google reader. I un-follow my fave fans on twitter. I put the books away, I say I’m not going to watch the movie.

And then about 5 minutes later, my skin starts crawling. I break out into a sweat. And I say, ok, one little peak won’t kill me. And I check a site for new pics. And holy mother of god, there they are. Fresh out of the oven. Steamy hot pics of Rob that have me derailed again.

rob 062209-1

Maybe some day, I’ll just give into this. It’ll save me the 10 minutes of agony every other day and embrace my love of Rob-light.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: