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Let me make it loud and clear

June 23, 2009

If for some reason I have not made it abundantly clear, let me make it so – I am unconditionally and irrevocably on Team Edward.

Don’t get me wrong, I liked Jacob (emphasis on the liked, as in past tense). In the movie, he seemed like a cute and sweet guy. I had actually seen him in Shark Boy and Lava Girl so was familiar with his body of work. Then I read Twilight and pretty much liked him throughout. And for the majority of New Moon, he was caring, warm and there. I mean he wasn’t Edward, but he was a really supportive friend. And Edward left. So, yeah, Bella’s gotta hit what she can get. And Jacob is pretty much trying every which way he can to tap that. And I was semi-ok with that.

Until the phone call. And then I wanted Jacob to back the f*ck off. I wanted to tell him to take his half breed ass and hike it back to La Push, baby and forget he ever knew Bella. Jacob needed to go back to his mutt pack and imprint on some Forks high chicka or someone from the Rez.

Yes, my alliances do turn so quickly.

And from that point forward, Jacob was the annoying eyelash growing straight into your eye that you just can’t get out. He grated on me. I couldn’t stand his antics. And he is a total pedophile to boot.

So imagine my horror when I saw this:

Get your hot dog eating, grubby sweatpants wearing, awful wig having dick grabbers off of Bella!

Get your hot dog eating, grubby sweatpants wearing, awful wig having dick grabbers off of Bella!

 

My inner fangirl was screaming at the top of her lungs. No. F-ing. Way. What the shiz is up with this? Who would think this would be a good idea? Then it occured to me: those marketing folks – they know their fanbase. The Team Edwards will buy one because they will be so pissed they will want to remind themselves of the horror that could have been. The Team Jacobs will rejoice in their favored lovers claim of his first true love. Damn those marketers to hell, I say!

I doubt I will fork up the money for this copy anytime soon. It’s such a misrepresentation. And the two of them look like they are about to rub wolf bits to lady parts, which gives me the willies.

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